(Un)Speakable

(Un)Speakable by Kit Miller first appeared in issue Issue 120 in 2026.

Summary

Joey loves Humphrey, a prolific painter. Well over a hundred years later, Ebbe writes his PhD thesis about Humphrey. Or at least, that's the plan.

A story about historical censorship and queer words.

(Also ft. Ebbe's supportive boyfriend, Bean.)

Author's Note

…Yeah, so this is me angry.

But first: Humphrey Godwin is a composite of Edward Carpenter and JC Leyendecker. Joey is, of course, inspired by Carpenter’s long-term partner George Merrill. This piece was inspired mostly by Dr Jonathan Spangler, who wrote his PhD dissertation on second sons (‘spares’) in the French monarchy. He shared on a recent episode of the (excellent) BBC podcast You’re Dead To Me that he initially planned to focus solely on Philippe de France, Duc d’Orléans, younger brother of Louis XIV, but that he had to broaden his subject when he learned that Philippe’s private letters were burned immediately after his death. Philippe is widely held to have been queer. It is also inspired by the fact that Anne Lister’s diaries were found, deciphered, and almost destroyed some decades after she died (We could have lost the Lister diaries!!!). It is also inspired by John Addington Symonds’ name being posthumously taken off the second edition of Sexual Inversion, which he had co-authored with Havelock Ellis, at the demand of his friends and family (Symonds was queer; there’s a good novel, The New Life by Tom Crewe, that fictionalises his and Ellis’ lives). It is also inspired by Edward Brittain deciding to walk into enemy fire in the First World War rather than face being court-martialled for his homosexuality and bring shame and dishonour on his family (this was completely ignored in the 2014 movie adaptation of Testament of Youth). It is also inspired by the 1997 work of art Electric Fan (Feel It Motherfuckers): Only Unclaimed Item from the Stephen Earabino Estate by John S. Boskovich (look it up if you’re unfamiliar; I challenge you not to cry). And it is, of course, inspired by the ongoing, worldwide efforts to silence queer voices.

I come from a country that is, on a global scale, pretty okay when it comes to queer rights. For now. Unfortunately, queer people are also regarded as a demographic that can be comfortably ignored, especially by politicians. Furthermore, the current, conservative administration has made repeated attempts to roll back pro-queer laws, legislation, and policies. It has silently and not-so-silently attempted to suspend or outright cancel funding and initiatives benefiting not only queer people, but artists and activists of all stripes, and in too many cases, it was successful. That kind of fucks with you, to put it mildly.

But to end on some uplifting notes, because I am, at heart, and sometimes to my own detriment, an optimistic idealist: I am heartened to see my local queer community protest against these policies; I am heartened when I hear that there were more Pride events planned and announced for the following summer than ever before; I am especially heartened when I think of my father, who, when same-sex marriage was legalised in my country over a decade ago, declared it to be a dark day in our history, but who changed his mind when I came out to him.

And a final trivia treat: Bean’s nickname, and his actual name, came to me as I was jotting down some ideas for his character; I described him to myself as ‘An All-Round Good Bean,’ and it then amused me to call him Fabian. Because yes, that name is, in fact, derived from faba, the Latin word for bean. May we all have Beans in our lives. I do, and I am grateful for and I love every single one of them.

External Links

This story is also available on Archive of Our Own (AO3).